you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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