this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
