So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
