im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
