so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
