It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I want to be your penis for a week.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You ruined the universe
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
