okay pat passed out under dana's car
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
