Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize