NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
