Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
