these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
