every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
ok first of all what the fuck
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
