We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
