so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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