Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
