I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
