Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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