Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
