fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
