Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
