just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
