I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
