All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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