did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
