they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
