if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
