no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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