How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
