She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
