You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
