so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
