Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
