I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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