The beer is more important than you right now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
