if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
