no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
