yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
