College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
