And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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