at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
