Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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