At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
ok first of all what the fuck
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
