you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
