How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
