I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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