Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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