i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
