I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
