they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
