We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
