mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
