is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
