My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize