dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
