Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
