Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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