So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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