TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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