She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
