We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
