dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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