Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
