Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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